Don’t Look Back

‘Do you think you’re the person you wanted to be when you were little?’

‘What do you mean?’

She lowers her binoculars.

‘You know. When you were little. Didn’t you ever think about the future? Who you would be. How it would be.’

‘I was never little.’ He says.

There is a pause. She plays with the binocular settings. He stares at the dashboard.

‘Maybe I was.’ He continues eventually. ‘I mean, I must have been. I wasn’t always here, was I? But I can’t-‘

He struggles.

‘You’ve been alive too long.’ She suggests.

‘Maybe.’

He rubs his eyes. She regrets proposing the question now.

‘I remember a feeling.’ He manages, ‘From the beginning. I remember…being afraid. And the dark.The three of us huddled in the dark.’

He shakes his head.

‘We were young, but we were not little. We knew what was happening. We knew¬†what we had to do. We fled from fear, turned to chaos, stole the shortest victory and then ended up with this. The long silence. Each of us turned away from the other. All alone.’

He turns to her.

‘I suppose I didn’t think of the future in the same way you did because I spent my formative years just hoping I’d make it through the day.’

He laughs suddenly.The sound surprises both of them.

‘I think maybe I still live like that. Looking over my shoulder, always ill at ease. Isn’t that ironic?’

He smiles wearily.

‘I’m the king of Hades and I don’t want to die.’