Honeymoon

It is not entirely dark. The moon above them is large and accusing. Headlights race past in the distance, behind the veil of trees. She, with her wedding dress hitched up above the knee, squints into the distance. She thinks she hears something, but she knows she has not. He, folding the sleeves of his dress shirt, wants to say something. Something funny, saucy, to lighten the mood. But his mind won’t start. In their hands, they grasp shovels. The shroud, hiding their shame, ripples in the wind.

How deep does it have to be?

He shrugs.

What does it matter? It’s not like we have a tape measure.

She is like a dog with a bone.

Up to my knee? Up to my thigh?

Why?

He rolls his eyes.

Are you planning to get in it?

She violently thrusts the shovel into the ground.

Be serious!

There is a pause. They haven’t even started, and yet she is already sweating. He pushes his shovel into the ground.

Just dig. When it’s right, we’ll know.

What does that even-

Just. Dig.

 

Patron

My job is to support you. To guide and support you so that you can achieve your dreams. That’s the extent of my involvement. My dream is to see you flourish and grow and-

Small sidenote. Really quick. In terms of how you deliver that speech, what I would do- and this is just a suggestion- but what I would do, is stand at an angle, just so it’s easier to point to slides and also connect with the audience.

But, you know. Ultimately, this is your vision. Your baby. I’m just here to coach you through any difficult moments and the technical stuff-

Again, and this is just a suggestion, I wouldn’t rely on the notes so heavily. It just makes the performance so stucco and shatters the audience’s attention span. Just speak from the heart and don’t slouch-

It’s your presentation. It’s your ideas. I’m just here to neaten it up a bit and give you a well deserved shot of confidence. Because you are brilliant, you are amazing-

This is so small, I know, but don’t you just hate it when you’re watching something and the presenter is saying the exact same things as are on the slide? It’s like, ah! I know how to read, I don’t need the voiceover! You should be filling in the gaps. The slides are for specifics, what you need to do is sell yourself in person.

But like I said, you are a star. You are a creative, and like I’m always saying, creativity is important-

But for some reason creativity and charisma don’t always come hand in hand-

Just be yourself and don’t let anyone try and change you-

But at the same time be completely different and follow my lead-

I just want to help-

I just know what’s best for you.