Some Written II

People died!

People died because my brother had given up on life and when he got tired of hacking people to pieces, he blew himself up.

How do I apologise for that?

How am I supposed to apologise for something like that?

Something I could never do, never in my darkest moments.

Something I had no part in, that I had no idea was going to happen, that I am still struggling to get my head round.

My brother.

Do you understand?

My baby brother, who used to sleep in my bed when he was scared.

My brother, who I watched grow up.

My brother, who I thought would outlive me.

He’s just done.

Dead.

And he took as many people as he could with him.

And I don’t know why.

I will never really know why.

And I have to live with that.

That’s suffering enough.

That’s pain enough.

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