So he’s turned up with a girl!
I don’t know who she is, never seen anything like it before. Not ‘it’ as in ‘her’. She’s not an ‘it’. She seems…I mean she’s trying and that is a start, isn’t it?
Oh, don’t worry about me! I don’t care. Why would I? We’re not together. We never were actually together, so I’m not like…upset upset. I’m just…surprised.
Because I just never imagined- I guess I thought he was a bit smarter than this. I never imagined that if he wanted to make me jealous or get back at me, he would be so cliche. And for the record, it hasn’t worked. Like I said, I don’t care. I just think it’s a bit on the nose.
Most people, when they like someone, act nicer to than usual, laugh longer at their jokes, come up with dumb reasons to touch them, to talk to them. But we were never like that. So I just never expected that he’d try something like this. Do something like this…to me.
Because I just don’t care! It doesn’t bother me at all! I mean, you have to laugh, don’t you? We all know he still likes me. He told me he loved me less than a month ago. 24 days ago. Or something. Does he really expect anyone to believe that he got over me so easily? It’s wild. It’s…almost psychotic, right?
So I don’t care. I just think it’s unfair to this poor girl. This, probably, very sweet girl who’s gone to all the trouble of putting on a new set of eyelashes, and a new set of nails and a fresh lick of spray tan.
Spray tan. Really? It’s 2019! I can’t believe he thinks that a girl like this, a probably very humble girl in every day life, would make me feel any kind of way. Would make me storm up to him and act hysterical. It’s just so passé.
Like her shoes. Look at her shoes. How could I be mad about a girl in open toed shoes with feet like that? If anything I feel sorry for her. Like, how sad and how sweet that she’s gone to all this trouble for my sloppy seconds?
Can I even call him that? He was Chloe’s sloppy seconds that I regurgitated. So does that make him sloppy thirds? Thirsty thirds? I don’t even want to know.
Maybe this isn’t even for me. Maybe it’s for her. Maybe she’s like a ‘make a wish’ person or something. Poor thing. Poor, poor, probably fine, thing.
I’ll go over and say hi. That’s the Christian thing to do. Just introduce myself. Nothing big. Don’t want her to feel uncomfortable. I mean, none of this is her fault. This dear, dear creature in a cheap suede jacket. I’m not going to go over there and say ‘Hi, this man told me he loved me 24 days and 8 hours ago and now he’s trotting you out like a prize horse to- what? Intimidate me? I haven’t been intimidated since I was 6. If you want to get back at me you both need a better get-up than this.’
I mean, it’s pathetic, right? This whole thing is just…pathetic.
Shut up, they’re coming over. Act like I haven’t been talking about them for 10 minutes-